Co-parenting may not come naturally to you, particularly if you’re a high-conflict couple or you’re still recovering from the nastiness of a divorce. Divorced parents need to make a concerted effort to keep their conflicts with each other separate from their relationship as co-parents to their child.

Every year, 1 million U.S. kids become children of divorce. In settling child custody issues, their parents are likely to hammer out co-parenting agreements – committing to working together to raise their kids in spite of a divorce or separation. But co-parenting has its challenges. In the second part of our series of occasional articles on co-parenting, we look at how to make the transition from separated couple to parenting team.

Working together to help your child grow into a happy, confident and well-adjusted adult is something that all parents should aspire to. But it’s not something that comes easily to newly divorced or separated parents, or even to parents who were living apart in the first place.

It takes hard work to craft a “”co-parenting”" relationship that enables parents to cooperate in a way that benefits their child. As separated or divorced parents, you choose to live apart because you can’t see eye to eye on many things, and it’s unreasonable to expect that you’ll be able to immediately step away from all of that and become a cheery, friendly, co-parenting couple.

It can take months or years to forge a new relationship as parents together. But no matter how long it takes – or how difficult it is – finding a way to cooperate together as parents ultimately does pay off.

Keep your child uppermost in mind

Divorce or separation is devastating for children. It’s normal for them to experience anger, sadness, helplessness, fear and withdrawal.

8 cardinal rules of co-parenting

In order for co-parenting to succeed, there are some important rules that all co-parents should follow:

1. Do not use your child as a go-between.

2. Do not discuss your feelings about the other parent with your child.

3. Always remember that your child needs time with both of you to grow up healthy and happy.

4. If possible, never argue in front of your child.
5. Be flexible whenever possible.

6. Think of parenting time as benefiting your child, not you or the other parent.

7. Envision yourself and the other parent as a team.

8. If you are the residential parent, include the other parent as much as possible.

It is impossible for you as a parent to fully protect your child from the impact of the divorce. Your family has changed, and you have to expect that your child will need time to adjust. But the way that you and the other parent handle the change of a divorce, and the years following it, has a huge impact on the kind of experience it is for your child.

The purpose of your divorce was likely to end the fighting, to improve how you both feel, and to create happier lives for everyone. If you go through the divorce, only to continue arguing and fostering unpleasant feelings toward the other parent, you haven’t made a lot of improvements in your family’s life.

You can’t give your child proper support and attention if you and the other parent are always focused on what the other is doing wrong, or if you continue to dredge up bad feelings from your relationship as a couple.

Developing a new relationship that is low-conflict, pleasant on the surface, and routine will help your child relax and begin to feel more comfortable with the new arrangement. You will be able to focus more directly on your child’s needs. Your child will function better if she knows that there are two parents united behind her.

Learn how to think

Learning to co-parent means making a mental shift in the way you think about the other person. This is a person who has undoubtedly hurt you, let you down, insulted you, or worked against you in your relationship. It may seem like a tall order to set that aside and smilingly co-parent together.

You need to mentally compartmentalize your relationship with the other parent. In one room, put all of your feelings about him or her as your partner or spouse. All the hurt and anger from a divorce goes behind that door. You can go into that room whenever you need to, to work through those feelings.

In another room goes your relationship with this person as a parent. In this room, there is a table where you can sit and work together to create a good life for your child. On the walls are photos of your child in happy moments. This is the room you must place yourself in mentally when you are dealing with the other parent in a parenting situation.

This compartmentalizing is something you must commit to doing. It may be hard to sit in one room in your mind, while you know that the other room is next door. But you must direct your attention to cooperating and welcoming the other parent into your child’s life so your child can have the benefit of two parents who are reasonable, pleasant and accommodating to each other.

Parenting is a vastly important function that’s required to be performed in order to ensure better upbringing of a child. It is necessary for parents to learn the right kind of parenting so as to make the child confident and to face the challenges of life strongly.

Approaching a parenting center would be a wise decision for parents where they will be guided in a right direction as to what are the best ways to up bring a child. The parenting center is completely dedicated to help parents in becoming a successful family guardian.

The parenting center helps with professional counseling, expert parenting advice, educational classes, children management information and co-parenting. Such assistance will help you to become a much more refined and managed parent to build a dynamic personality of your child.
It is a fact that all kids do not behave in a same way. Each kid has different behavioral patterns from the other kid. If some kids are sensitive by nature there are other kids who are aggressive and violent in behavior. The parenting center educates the parents about how they should tackle each child differently.

The parenting centers make you aware of the importance of listening, watching and learning while dealing with your children. The experts of a parenting center will give you parenting advice on dealing with child’s emotional, physical and mental development without building unrealistic expectations from them. Each child has his or her own capabilities, talents and interests. As per true parenting, it is not wise to force your child to become a doctor if he has an interest in painting. The parenting center will guide you to analyze your child’s interest and encourage your child in the same.

Also, one of the common problems faced in a family is communication gap between parents and kids. The experts of the parenting center will give you important tips on how to narrow down this gap in a healthy manner so that your child can express his or her emotions freely before you.

If parents are working, the best parenting advice will get in these centers is how to take some time out of your life so that you can spend some quality time with your kids. The parenting center also organizes camps, classes and work hours from time to time in which the parents can spend a dedicated time with their children.

A parent, whether single or with a partner, is often blamed for anything that goes wrong with their children. Blame for the perceived wrongdoings of our children is probably one of the hardest burdens that we as parents have to carry.

The truth is that parents these days are time poor and their children are, more than ever before, influenced by many powerful outside sources. Most parents are doing the best they can with the knowledge they have. For the majority of people, this knowledge is based on how they were parented themselves. But times have changed, what worked for their parents and for them as children may not work now for their own families. Many people find that relying on what they learned from their own experience isn’t sufficient.

With just about everything that we do in life, we learn from our ‘mistakes’. Some of our mistakes are easy to move on from, others can last a lifetime and cause untold heartache.

Most people are born with parental instincts so parenting does come naturally to a certain extent. But who among us can say that they have not made mistakes? The evidence of some of our hasty parenting decisions can be in the form of defiant, uncommunicative or sullen children and teenagers, and these mistakes are not easy to live with.

Is there a better way? Yes, there is. Learning to become an effective parent can save a great deal of heartache.

Effective parenting is a learned skill and like just about everything else that we do, the more we practice effective parenting techniques, the better and more effective we become at parenting.

Effective parenting training gives us a better understanding of the complexities of our family, the pressures that our children face in the modern school setting, and the added pressure from part time work that many young people experience. It teaches us how to listen, understand and communicate with our children so that we do not make things worse, whilst still understanding that every child, family and situation is unique.

Can effective parenting training (EPT) help?

In short, effective parenting training takes some of the guess work out of parenting and provides strategies and tools that can be used to create a more harmonious home. If things are pretty good at home, proactive parenting is even better.
* EPT gives parents the opportunity to stop and look at their home situation from a different perspective. What were your goals when you started your family? EPT is a big step towards achieving those goals.

* EPT can help parents identify if they are working with or against each other. How do they reach consensus?

* EPT provides guidelines for putting things into order at home – creating a ‘bottom line’, revisiting values and establishing rules, boundaries and consequences. This step alone is critical. Too many rules become unworkable but rules and boundaries provide a baseline for the whole family and a structure with foundations for feeling safe with everyone knowing what is expected of them.

* Rules, boundaries and structure are meaningless to children and teenagers without loving, sincere and effective communication. EPT will teach parents how to listen and communicate effectively rather than inflaming situations.

* EPT will assist parents in understanding what their children need to experience in order to feel loved. Most parents do try to show their love but do not understand that what is perceived as love to one person may be quite different to another.

* Parents will understand how their children learn. Once again, because we are unique individuals, we all learn differently. This understanding can provide the parent untold and unique opportunities to help their children gain confidence at school.

With these tools and a firmer foundation upon which to move their families forward in a positive direction, parents and their children will feel empowered.

Children are resilient and forgiving and they do want to feel the love their parents have for them. It is essential for their growth into healthy young adults. Where there has been continuing conflict you can be pretty sure that some of those loving feelings have been lost. They can be reestablished. There has to be at least one ‘adult’ in a situation to turn things around; someone who is willing to take the responsibility to get things moving in the right direction.

Beginning parents will probably have a good understanding of some of the pitfalls in modern parenting – prevention is so much better than any cure.

Basics Of Parenting

            Today, the one and the only question that is in the minds of everybody is “where are the youth of this generation going?” as the lifestyle and values of the youth is bothering the society to say the least. Though the  problems created by the youth and the problems faced by them are innumerable, it is not the state of affairs of the youth alone that is causing anxiety. The baby on its way into this world, new born babies and the children in different stages of growth  also face and cause problems. While trying to find the root cause of the problem it is the parents who are blamed for it, most of the time.   Though they are not the sole cause, they have a major role to play.   Their success in parenting depends on the kind of parents they are, their environment, the support from the family, the possibility of getting trained for parent hood, the level of education, the nature of the child concerned etc.,. The problems, mostly psychological, would vanish with proper  parenting.  In the early days, people mostly lived in joint families.  The experience and advice the young parents received from the elders, parents, aunts, grand parents, uncles, guided them in the process of parenting.  The children also had many people to support them, to allow them to vent their feelings and  to learn the probable ways of findings solutions to their problems.

True Story

            While talking to a group of adolescent girls shocking messages came to light.   Many of the adolescent girls were having illicit relationship with auto drivers with whom they were coming to school.   Deeper analysis brought out the fact that these girls were longing for love from their parents.    When an iota of love or something akin to it is shown by the auto driver, they easily fall a prey to the former’s devious designs; of course they suffer later when they find it difficult to extricate themselves from the driver’s clutches.    Only the parents can help these children.    One of the great, noble traits of parenthood is love  and that alone can cure many ills faced by the children and youth. It can help the girls to retrieve themselves1.

            In yet another instance, a 5 years old orphan boy in a care centre for the AIDS infected persons   stunned the onlookers by saying that if his father had had proper parenting, he would not have gone astray and ended with AIDS, infecting his mother too2. Even this small lad knows the importance of parenthood.   Everyone knows about parenting and follow the kind of parenting demonstrated by their parents or that which they have learnt through courses or training or advice given by psychologists or gurus.

Styles of Parenting:

            Just as there are different types of human beings, there are different types of styles of parents.    The parents’ style influences the level and kind of development of the child.    Whatever may be the style of parenting the essentials to be looked into are, “Express your love, make your child feel secure. Build their self-esteem. Stay flexible and recognize the time for change as your child grows. Communicate openly and honestly and be confident  in your own ability”3. When you talk to your child, you should be actually listening not just hearing.

            There are different types of parenting, such as “Authoritative, Authoritarian, Permissive4”.   Parents who are very clear about their role and give instructions with confidence can be considered as Authoritative.   The Reader’s Digest Great Dictionary of the English language shows that authoritative means commanding and self confident, while authoritarian implies, favoring or enforcing strict obedience to authority5.  It is similar to dictatorship.

            Another variety of parenting is known as permissive.  These parents allow their children to follow their own path, mostly non-interfering.   It is similar to saying, “let the sleeping dogs lie” as they are.   These parents do not want to follow any strict rules or take up much responsibility in bringing up their children.   There is another mode of classifying the parents.   According to this classification, there are three types of parents, such as Consultant, Helicopter, Dull Sergeants6.

Three Types of Parents

           

CONSULTANT

 

HELICOPTER

 

DRILL SERGEANT

 

This Love and Logic parent provides guidance and consultant services for children

 

This parent hovers over children and rescues them from the hostile world in which they live.

 

This parent commands and directs the lives of children.

1.

The Love and Logic parent provides messages of personal worth and strength

1.

provides messages of weakness and low personal worth

1.

provides messages of low personal worth and resistance

2.

The Love and Logic parent very seldom mentions responsibilities

2.

makes excuses for the child, but complains about mishandled responsibilities

2.

makes lots of demands and has lots of expectations about responsibility.

3.

The Love and Logic parent demonstrates how to take care of self and be responsible

3.

“takes on” the responsibility of the child

3.

tells the child how he /she should handle responsibility

4.

The Love and Logic parent shares personal feelings about own performance and responsibilities

4.

protects the child from any possible negative feelings

4.

tells the child how he / she should feel

5.

The Love and Logic parent provides and helps child explore alternatives and then allows child to make his / her own decision

5.

makes decisions for the child

5.

provides absolutes : “This is the decision you should make”.

6.

The Love and Logic parent provides “time frames” in which child may complete responsibilities

6.

provides no structure, but complaints, “After all I’ve done for you…”

6.

demands that jobs or responsibilities be done now

7.

The Love and Logic parent models doing a good job, finishing, cleaning up, feeling good about it.

7.

whines and uses guilt : “When are you ever going to learn.   I always have to clean up after you.”

7.
issues orders and threats: “You get that room cleaned up or else…”

8.

The Love and Logic parent often asks self, “Who owns the problem?” helps the child explore solutions to his / her problem

8.

whines and complains about having an irresponsible child who causes “me” much work and responsibility

8.

takes over ownership of the problem using threats and orders to solve the problem

9.

The Love and Logic parent uses lots of actions, but very few words

9.

uses lots of words and actions that rescue or indicate that the child is not capable or responsible

9.

uses lots of harsh words, very few actions

10.

The Love and Logic parent allows child to experience life’s natural consequences and allows them to serve as the teacher

10.

protects child from natural consequences, uses guilt as the teacher

10.

uses punishment; pain and humiliation can serve as the teacher.

Source: http://www.loveandlogic.com/pdfs/threetypes.pdf

One way to identify the kind of parents is by analyzing the kind of gifts they give to their children in order to make them do any specific activity.  Some parents have a survival mentality; they give their child “whatever” just to make them do the job. Some parents operate with a default mentality.    They give their child what is popular without considering whether it will be the most helpful. In actual practice the parent should be operating deliberately and purposefully, giving the child what is useful after carefully thinking through.    They are usually known as “intentional parents” 7.   Depending on what kind or type of parents they are, the goals, and gifts also change.    In the case of permissive parents, the guiding motive will be, “If I can just make it through the child – rearing years, I can get my life back”.   Their goal will be “jilting the kids out of the house”.  They follow the easiest method of doing whatever is easy to do.  Hence, they use bribes, threats and use TV as a baby sitter8.

            On the other hand, those “who want to give the child what will be best and most helpful for him”, will have the goal of preparing the child for life as a productive adult. They would spend quality time with the child, imparting ethical values to the child.  The gifts given by such parents would be, “religious books, enjoyable pastimes, academics, home skills and chances for socialization” 9.

            If a child is to be successful in life, the appropriate parental care is necessary.    But, of course, there are children who grow up into successful adults, in spite of defective parenting.   But such cases are very rare.   The society at present is facing problems of parenting especially in the case of single parent, divorced parents, simple and extended families. Most of the children brought up by single parent and unmarried mothers, find it difficult to cope with the pressures in the family and society.

Parenting Skills:

            With, hectic work schedule of the parents, the heavy load of learning coupled with  many distractions and the problems faced by the society, the children are looking for the support of their parents for a secure life.    It is ordinarily observed that parenting without proper foundation has always and indefinitely led to confusions in  child development.    What is essential is

Ø  Developing and clarifying clear communicative expectations.

Ø  Staying calm in the midst of turmoil

Ø  Encouraging positive consequences and consistency.

Ø  Being the role model to your child.

Ø  Effective praising.10

           

To be a successful parent discipline is necessary.  At the same time, there should be consistency in whatever the parents are saying and doing, parents should have a preplanned, pre-developed strategy to teach proper behaviour to the child. That is, both the parents,or the single parent should make their expectations clear to the child. , Both of them can sail smoothly while bringing up their child.    They should be very specific and firm in teaching their children. Moreover, the parents must take into consideration the child’s age, ability, developmental status and the resources that are available for the family.11   Once the expectations are clearly stated, it is necessary that both the parents should communicate it to the child, without contradictions.    In addition to these, there should be frequent family ‘get togethers’.  Instead of punishing the child for not abiding by the expectations, it will be better to have discussions to clear the child’s doubts and parents being role models.

            Ray Burke states that “Children can be sarcastic, defiant, rebellious and possibly violent, parents have to prepare themselves for times like these and learn to keep cool” 12.   Yet another way to increase or encourage desirable behavior is to use positive consequences.    What the parents should remember is to use the positive consequences that would work with the child.   While developing a child’s behavior the parents should remember “consistency”.    Consistency is the key to being a successful parent.    This gives the message to the child that “your parents are reliable and serious”.

            The most important aspect of successful parents is that the parents should be role model for their child 13. The parent should be a positive role model for their child to follow.    As Ray Burke say, “Praise is powerful…. Praise is nourishment.   It helps in the emotional development.  It helps in building up self-esteem, belief of personal satisfaction, feeling of security.”14    The praise should be communicated to the child either verbally or through action.

Parenting Skills :

Ø  Discipline

Ø  Education

Ø  Finance

With the social changes,  the extended family that existed earlier, which played the vital role of a model, a shock absorber, a vent for relieving one’s feelings has become a thing of the past.   Hence, the parents of the modern era have to learn creative ways of bringing up their children.   It is found that the most important but controversial parenting skills is DISCIPLINE.   Whether the method is, redirection, time-outs, loss of privileges, grounding, extra chores, or sparking, the parents should embrace their role to train their children to become moral and respectable adults15. The second skill to be acquired by the parents is regarding education.  The parents should also be educating their children in moral values.   The child’s education should take into consideration certain important facts16:

v  Family’s financial status.

v  Quality of local public and private schools.

v  Level of parental education.

v  Personalities of parents and children.

v  Home schooling support and resources.

v  The involvement of the parents in the child’s education.

Besides education, one of the important parenting skills is the effective way of dealing with financial issues.    The demand for expenditure for rearing the child, medical, hygienic needs etc. are soaring high today.     Hence, a successful parent should know what is essential and what is not before deciding upon the expenditure of the limited resources.

Conclusion

            There is no doubt that children bring us much joy and much responsibility.   Most of the stress and worry of bringing them up can be reduced or removed with proper, careful planning.    The parents should plan when to have a child.   The working mother, if she is to stay at home, once the child is born, should plan earlier to save as much as possible and cut down the family expenditure.   Both the parents have to plan to set aside enough time to be with the child, not only when it is a baby, but till the child becomes an adult.

             The parents, need not be only the problematic, should avail of training in parenting skill as much as possible. First of all, both parents should have a congenial and frank communication between them.   Only then, once the child comes into the family, they will be able to communicate with the child easily.   Further the “ego”, the concept of “I” should be relegated to the background.    It is possible that the child becomes sick at times mildly, at times seriously.    Both the parents should take responsibility of looking after the child, not blaming each other as the cause of sickness.    The child rearing, though filled with difficulties, hurdles and events that test one’s tolerance, is undoubtedly a pleasure.  It is a joy.   A successful parent should know how to smile.    That will reduce the stress and pain of the child.    As it grows into adolescent stage, the skills of the parents should be developed further.    They should know more about the physique, the psychology and mental development of the child.

            It should be remembered that the requisites of  an effective parent are dedication, attention, love and constant denial of easily administering swift punishment. Though parenting is time consuming, the fruits are very attractive.    The future generation and its success depends on the effective, successful and cheerful parents of today to a great extent.

END NOTES

1.       Author’s personal experience

2.       Ibid.

3.       http://www.raisingkids.co.uk 10.14.2008



http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/614981/authoritative_authoritarian_and_permissive.html

The Great Dictionary of English Language (Readers Digest Association Limited, London, 2003) p.56, 57

Three Types of Parents: Love and Logic institute – www.loveandlogic.com 1981.

http://intentionalparents.com/types-of-parents/ p.1

Ibid. p.2.

Ibid.p.2

http://allp

Single parents can get overwhelmed with the heavy load of responsibility and time demands that come with being the only adult in a family. Concerns about money, child rearing, and personal health loom large, and single parents may neglect their own personal needs for relaxation and fun.

If you’re a single parent feeling weighed down by too much to do and not enough time, maybe it’s time for you to think about taking a vacation tour for single-parent families. Everyone needs the occasional vacation, and single parents are no exception to the rule.

A vacation tour for single-parent families offers time to refresh and restore your mind and body and opportunities to get closer to your children in a new environment. It’s a family adventure you’ll share for years to come.

Single parents have their burdens, and children in single-parent families have their own problems, too. They often feel neglected or abandoned by a busy single parent that has to go to work and care for the household. They get little bits of time from their parent and sometimes end up spending much of their time with other caretakers. A vacation tour for single-parent families gives them the chance to be with their single parent in a whole new way.

Vacation tour for single-parent families help you rebuild strained relations with your children. You won’t be answering those phone calls from the boss, meeting with professional colleagues or your kids’ teachers, and you won’t have to deal with the thousands of daily interruptions that keep you and your children at odds.

The community of single-parent families is growing so rapidly that most travel agencies have vacation tours specifically for single-parent families. They’ll arrange for travel by train, plane, or cruise ship and help your family comply with international travel requirements when necessary.

Of course, you can’t just pick up and go for vacation tour for single-parent families. You’ll need to plan your vacation several months in advance to get the best prices and accommodations. A good rule of thumb is to book your vacation tour for single-parent families at least two months before the departure date.
If you don’t have passports or visas, you’ll need to allow a little more time for government processes to work to assure you have the necessary papers. Your travel agent should be able to tell you what the country you’re visiting requires and help you get the paperwork started. If you’re using a travel agent who specializes in vacation tours for single-parent families, they should be able to help you with almost everything you’ll need including travel, hotel accommodations, tickets to special events and entertainment areas, and restaurants that cater to children.

Of course, vacation tours for single-parent families are available within the United States where you don’t have to worry about passports and visas. They’re easier to plan and don’t take as much lead time for reservations.

Wherever you decide to go, you can learn a lot about your destination by visiting the official website and travel-related sites that contain information and travel reviews that will help you figure out what you want to do when you get there. You can also give the country’s consulate a call to get more information about what to see and do, and letting them know you’re a single parent with children may be helpful.

Travel agencies who specialize in vacation tours for single-parent families should be more aware and considerate of your special needs than other agencies. They should understand your time constraints and relieve you of as much of the planning as possible. They should also be experienced working with children on vacation tours for single-parent families.

Some large corporations are sponsoring vacation tour for single-parent families in their company. They may offer the trip as a bonus for outstanding performance or as a special incentive for future performance. If you work at a large corporation, you might check with the personnel office to see if your company has or is planning this great service.

Signing up for a vacation tour for single-parent families is the best favor you can do for yourself and your kids. You all cope with stresses and pressures every day. You more than deserve a quality break, you need it!

Taking the kids on a vacation tour for single-parent families gives you all healthy sunshine and fresh air, brings you together as a family, and gives you memories that will last a lifetime.

Parenthood is a feeling of completeness. It is a thread woven of memories. Memories of happy and sad times, of pain and of joy. Parenthood is a continuous activity, it is a process in itself. Parenthood process is irreversible. We all take birth, grow up, grow old and finally find peace in God. This is a human life cycle, which cannot be altered, so is parenting process. Once a parent, is a parent forever. Parenting process helps evolve a person, as a child, as a parent and above all as a human being. Parenting process affects our personality, our attitude towards life over time and throughout the course of the life cycle.

The process of evolving in parenthood, becoming a parent is a gratifying and pleasing experience but also very demanding and nerve-racking. We would request and suggest that parenting process is the right time to greet and embrace the change of a lifetime.

Someone, very rightly said, it is tough to understand the parenting process unless you become a parent yourselves.

As a new member of parenting process, the new parent must understand the significance of a mother and a father in the life of your child. It is usually assumed that a mother plays most important role in parenting process. But, to completely neglect a fathers position in parenting process is not right. An affectionate, time devoting father, who participates in the child’s daily activities, help shape up the child’s personality in a manner which mother cannot do. This paternal element of closeness in parenting process helps develop the child emotionally as well as mentally. Parenting process, thus emphasizes that love of both the parents is a healthy and healing experience for the child. We would suggest that if the child is considered to be fruit of parenting process, mother and father are the roots of parenting process.
A very important understanding and learning of parenting process is that, as a parent you are always at the giving side of the relation. Parenting process states that you should not expect returns from your children. To give all your love and support to your child, is an eternal element of parenting process.

The other important key factor of parenting process is that the parent must learn a fact that children learn what they see. As a parent you must preach only what you proclaim, you yourselves know. Children are a mirror of what they see. So being a parent, as a learning of parenting process, parent must not introduce children to tension, confusion in life or any sort of harsh or fight behavior, at least through the family. Children replicate what they see, so mark your actions and words; this is the base of parenting process.

At the crux of parenting process, be positive in your attitude, and your child will follow. Be hopeful, full of energy and life, accept challenges, strive to achieve the perfection, this way the parenting process will help shape-up the personality and identity of your child.

World Wide Web is emerging as an alternative source to secure excellent parenting tips. For the believers of the point that good parenting ensures better future of the wards, web works as an important alternative to seek help from. In order to choose the parenting source, well suited to the nature of the kids, the parents are required to think wisely. There are a number of ways to find out the best parenting source and the place best place for that is none other than the World Wide Web. The Internet can guide the parents of the best parenting ways such as kids reward programme.

Besides the children reward system, there are other parenting sources for parents such as book and video haven. The books can tell you best parenting tips and is written in accord with the children’s psychology. Fictional stories given in the books can also be of great help to the parents. Comprehensive websites and links are also best option to get perfect parenting tips. The links can also be checked on the websites so as to get good parenting tips.

Other good parenting source is web forum where the parents can share from other experienced people, the tips and information of a good parenting. Taking active participation in web forums is the best way to get good parenting tips as it is conversational form of getting the parenting information. Lot of parents today are opting for message boards as it is light and fun method to talk about parenting.
Parents can also go for special instructional classes conducted to give parenting tips to the parents. By joining such classes, parents can get professional counseling on how to become a good parent. The parenting classes will give excess of practical tips and theories on child’s psychology by a skilled and certified professional having sound expertise in the area of parent counseling.

Good parenting tips can also be taken from the familiars and friends and they can be a good parenting resource. Since your familiars are close to you emotionally, so they can guide you best ways by which you can actually become a good parent. This is the easiest and priceless source to get parenting tips but the parents must make sure the nature of family and the children before making the advised parenting tip practical.

Parenting has undeniably become a more complex reality than ever before. One of the crucial issues in the aspect of modern parenting is same sex parenting. Although it may be true that same sex parents may have existed even before this century, the issue has become more prominent in the modern age. There may be a variety of reasons for this, but whatever the reason, same sex parents and their families are on the social spot light.

Some support while others criticize same sex parents and these parents are probably out looking for a good parenting tip amidst all the hoopla. Same sex parents are still parents and are therefore equally as concerned for their children as heterosexual parents. Their need for a relevant parenting tip in a world where each parenting tip is for heterosexual parents is immediate. What can be a good parenting tip for same sex parents?

Be Honest

The foremost parenting tip for same sex parents involves honesty. There is, after all, no point in being with a partner you love if you have to keep it from your children. A recommended parenting tip therefore is to explain your situation to your children as soon as they are able to understand. When should parents speak up? Another crucial parenting tip is knowing when the appropriate time is. Kids are different from each other. Some mature faster than others. It is generally accepted though that kids today have an early recognition and understanding of reality as kids a few decades ago. A good parenting tip is to know your kids yourself. As a parent you know when the right time is.

Build a Close Relationship

Crucial to the parenting tip on honesty is the parenting tip on building good relationships with your kids. It’s easier to be honest with a child with whom you are close with. At an early age, be your child’s favorite playmate, confidante and best friend. Make your child comfortable with you by spending as much time with him/her. Make him/her feel that you will be around to help and that it’s okay to tell you things. Any parenting tip would tell you that building a close relationship starts while your child is at a young age.
Communicate Love and Logic

While you’re at the parenting tip on building a meaningful relationship, make sure that your relationship is based both on love and logic. Tell your kids that being gay doesn’t necessarily mean that you are less successful than other people. Tell them too that being gay doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll love them less or provide for them less. Tell them that there is no connection between being gay and being an incapable and unfit parent.

Accept Reality

An important parenting tip for same sex parents is the acceptance of reality. Sure, gay couples accept their being homosexuals. What they should also accept however is that their children may be made to suffer for their parents’ sexual orientation. Not everyone accepts homosexuality. The mere fact that major political and social leaders in American society have voiced opposition to same sex parenthood is enough indication that society has not fully accepted the gender choice. It is a good parenting tip to accept that kids may be bullied so that one may be better able to address the problem.

Seek Help

A final parenting tip is to seek for professional help for your kids and family. In spite of your best efforts to boost your child’s confidence and make him/her understand that homosexuality is not an abnormality, your child may not easily cope with the situation of being bullied. When the situation becomes too much for you to handle, look for support groups, counseling opportunities and parent resources to help you.

Good communication between parents and caregivers in the early childhood setting is very important.  Both parents and caregivers have a goal of providing children with the best learning and growing environments.  Caregivers should strive to create trust between the parents and themselves so they can work together for the good of the children.

Creating trust between parents and caregivers involves using an open communication system that benefits the children, parents and caregivers. Caregivers are better able to help children learn when they communicate with the parents about the child.  They learn from the parents about each child’s family, culture, home life, and language.

In the early childhood setting, we communicate with parents for a variety of reasons.  In all our interactions with parents, we should create a positive and trusting environment by being respectful and honest.

After parents have decided to enroll their child, seize your chance to get to know them and encourage them to become involved in the classroom or at the facility.  Greet parents at arrivals and dismissals.  Make parents, who may be uncomfortable with the school environment, feel at ease.
Tell parents about yourself and your goals for the children in your class.  Let them know when you are available for meetings with them. Explain the child care facility’s policies and answer any questions they might have.  Inform them of any special events.

It may be hard to communicate with parents who have long work schedules.  You may not even see many of these parents because they send another relative or a close friend to transport the child to and from the facility.  Other parents may find it hard to get involved in special activities because of an evening work schedule.  Keep these parents informed of classroom happenings and special events through written notes, telephone or email communication.

We communicate in various ways and with many different styles.  When we practice methods of positive and open communication, we can get to know parents and encourage them to build a partnership with us.  Children, parents and teachers all benefit from the partnership.

Learn more about encouraging parent participation. Visit ChildCare Education Institute to discover over 100 online child care training courses that meet the continuing education requirements of the child care industry.  Register for a sample course and try online learning today!

We of the baby-boomer generation are feeling the pressure as we provide care for our elderly parents.  It is painful as we helplessly watch our loved one’s experience the impact of failing health.  We feel powerless against the ravages of deteriorating health and mourn our losses as our parents begin the descent involving their incapacity to live independently.  Children undergo the process of grieving as our parents move closer to the end of their lives.  Family dynamics may shift. 

 

The process of grieving hopefully may bring healing and closure to children who care-take for elderly parents.  However, more typically, it takes its toll in creating upheaval and conflict among the children.  As elderly parents come to the end of their lives, the grieving process may serve as a catalyst which affects core issues and dynamics among the surviving children.  If there are unresolved issues harbored by any family member, they will invariably surface during this time of distress.  Grieving and loss have a way of opening the door for unfinished psychological business that has been “swept under the rug.”  One can only hide the pain for so long and then inevitably the truth, wrapped in emotional baggage, will make itself known. 

 

The children of an aging parent are forced to deal with a myriad of new decisions and problems.  However, legal, financial, and questions related a parent’s possessions tend to be the focal point for conflict among siblings during the process of parental decline.  Children, who face these issues with their unresolved baggage, create tension for the entire family system.  Hopefully, parents help minimize the impact of sibling conflict by structuring their will and financial matters effectively.

 

Quibbling over finances or belongings may represent the way in which children play out their unresolved conflicts toward the elderly parent and their interaction with each other.  They may feud over jewelry and other personal possessions belonging to the parent, leaving the elderly parent feeling resentful or guilt-ridden.  The turmoil may exacerbate the parent’s declining health.  Misunderstandings may exist over who gets what and when.  Interpersonal conflict emerges when the grieving process serves as a metaphor for unfinished family business.  Although most parents dread the prospects, it is not unusual for children to break communication with each other after the death of their parent. 

 
Because feelings are more intense during the declining health of an elderly parent, the children are more prone to become reactive.  Reactivity leads to anxiety, and anxiety promotes misunderstanding and defensive communication.  Like the advent of premarital counseling, perhaps there should be therapy for children who are trying to navigate the process of caretaking for an elderly parent in deteriorating health. 

 

What are some of the ways that children can cope more effectively while caretaking for an elderly parent and avoid the traps that cause interpersonal damage?

 

Make sure that there are legal documents in place, including a will, durable power of attorney, and a trust.  They should be updated, particularly if there is any transition from state to state. Make sure that your parent specifies, outside of the will, items to be distributed equitably to all family members. Children of the elderly need to work on responding, by promoting understanding, rather than reacting with defensiveness and resentment. Children should seek professional counseling assistance when they are unable to manage their personal grief and it begins to affect their functioning as well as other family members. Learn to keep things in perspective.  Money and things are not worth severing relationships and causing hurt feelings within the family.  Our legacy and our families should be based on the quality of our relationships. 

 

Caretaking for the elderly is a difficult process.  It takes patience, wisdom, and the ability to sort out issues related to our parents and siblings.  We must take the high road consisting of integrity when dealing with our family members.  There are not guarantees that they will do the same.  Nevertheless, we must vow to make peace with our past, care for our parents, and let go of our loved ones in a way that will bring peace and healing to our life.  In doing so, we will never have regrets.